Because You Just Want to Know Why.
By: Mandie Foster
You think that if you just knew why it happened that it would make it better. That it might be okay. That you would be able to let it go. You’d be able to let them go. And that you’d be able to move on...
But, the truth is most of the time you won’t ever know why. You won’t get your answers. You won’t get closure or clarity. And no matter how much you really want to know why, you’ll never know. I know it’s hard, trust me. I always want to know why things happened the way they did. Because we think that an explanation will solve our problems. But, most of the time I don’t get that and I have to learn to be okay with that. It’s a very hard lesson to learn.
You have so many questions that you want answered. You think that maybe if you knew why that you would be able to understand. You think that with knowledge comes understanding. And with understanding comes clarity. And with clarity comes closure. You think you would feel better knowing why. That you might be okay with it. But, you so desperately wanting to know why isn’t going to do anything but drive you insane. It certainly isn’t going to help you get to a good place. Knowing why won't make it right. And asking yourself why isn't gonna fix things.
And as long as you are hung up on why something happened or was said, you won’t be able to move on. You won’t be able to just let it go.
Take time to reflect. Feel what you’re feeling. Hurt and Grieve. But, you can’t spend your whole life being hung up on a why that might never be answered. You can’t keep waiting for an answer that might never come. You have to learn to accept all the unanswered why’s that are in your head. Because if you don’t they will consume you and drive you insane. You’re trying to understand something that isn’t understandable. You can’t move on if you are still stuck in your head.
Sometimes, it’s just so hard being okay with things left open and unanswered because it’s so hard for us to understand how someone could do something to you that you could never do to someone else. Something that you would never dream of doing to them or to anyone. You can’t wrap your head around why someone would think that it’s okay to treat someone like that. You just have to keep reminding yourself that not everyone has the same morals and ethics as you. What you think is okay and isn’t okay isn’t what everyone else thinks. What you think is right isn’t what everyone else things is right. And sometimes even with those thoughts, you still can comprehend how what has happened to you was okay in anyone’s head. You still can’t find any peace.
That’s the thing about people, they will always surprise you. They will never cease to amaze you. You think you know someone until one day they completely shock you. People will do and say things that will absolutely leave you jaw dropped wondering if they are even human. And the thing is you can’t do anything about that, you can’t change them. You just have to accept it.
Because you think that if you knew why that you would have closure. That you would finally be able to move on. But, sometimes the answer that you think you want is better left unsaid. Sometimes, not knowing is better than knowing. Sometimes, people don’t tell you why because they don’t know themselves.
You wanting to know why won’t give you closure. Because even if you get some answers, you’ll still have more unanswered why’s. The thing about understanding is that there’s always more to know. The why’s are never ending. And when you’re in the cycle of wanting to know why your mind is coming up with a million why’s. Knowing why won’t ever give you the peace you want.
You’ll never be able to completely understand why something happened the way it did. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to understand something that was always beyond your understanding. Because no matter how many answers you might get, it won’t ever be enough. And the explanation you receive won’t satisfy your lingering why. It rarely does. You can’t always understand why things happen the way they do and why people do the things they do. It’s a hard thing to accept, but it’s a fact of life. There are so many things in life that we want answers to that we won’t ever get.
You think you can find closure in knowing why, but you can only find closure within yourself. You find it in accepting the unknown. And you can’t get to a place of letting go and being ready to move on if you’re still trying to figure out why. You find it in not needing to know why.