Daily: Inside the mind of someone who is unworthy.
By: Dasha hoskins
I'm sorry I'm a toxic person.
But I can't even love myself. I have a love for everyone else, but me. I fight every single day with who I am, instead I continue to love people. The people that exist around me are more loved, more appreciated, and even on a different level, higher than I. You see, I always put myself last, and when I even attempt to love me, I fall apart and push everyone away.
I am terrified of the person I am, and I don't even know who that person is. Someone asks how I am, or how the day goes, it's the same exact answer every time. You would think others would stop asking, in hopes of breaking through a wall I have built. But you see, the ones who have been let in always end up hurting me in some way. Which makes me a toxic person. I am very unlovable, and I can't understand how another can care for me in any way. How can someone love a person who hates themselves?
One day, I hope to find my self worth. To find who I am, or halfway understand myself. One day, I hope I am no longer a toxic person to everyone around me. Until then, I am sorry for those that love me, when I can't love myself.
And to those that have broken me, I was already broken. You didn't help it that feeling at all
I'm sorry I'm toxic.