Pucker Shop

Daily:  Inside the mind of someone who is unworthy.

Daily: Inside the mind of someone who is unworthy.

By: Dasha hoskins

I'm sorry I'm a toxic person.

But I can't even love myself.  I have a love for everyone else, but me.  I fight every single day with who I am, instead I continue to love people.  The people that exist around me are more loved, more appreciated, and even on a different level, higher than I.  You see, I always put myself last, and when I even attempt to love me, I fall apart and push everyone away.

I am terrified of the person I am, and I don't even know who that person is.  Someone asks how I am, or how the day goes, it's the same exact answer every time. You would think others would stop asking, in hopes of breaking through a wall I have built.  But you see, the ones who have been let in always end up hurting me in some way.  Which makes me a toxic person.  I am very unlovable, and I can't understand how another can care for me in any way.  How can someone love a person who hates themselves?

One day, I hope to find my self worth.  To find who I am, or halfway understand myself.  One day, I hope I am no longer a toxic person to everyone around me.  Until then, I am sorry for those that love me, when I can't love myself.

And to those that have broken me, I was already broken.  You didn't help it that feeling at all

I'm sorry I'm toxic.