Admit It, You're the Girl Who Tries to 'Fix' People
By: Amanda Martz
Being the big-hearted girl comes with tons of advantages. Your kind and sweet nature makes guys flock to you. But not all of them are good guys.
And for some reason, it's always the ones who need a little extra of your love that tug just a bit harder on your heart strings.
So, you've landed yourself the title of a 'fixer-upper.' Oh, he's been in trouble a few times? I can fix that! He hasn't had a serious relationship in a long time? I can fix that too!
No, no you can't. As nice as it would be to love someone enough that their unhealthy habits became healthy ones, or a history of dysfunctional relationships could turn into a long-lasting one, it never works like that.
And it sounds like a good thing, that you're so overflowing with care for someone, you're willing to completely put someone before you.
But it's not just making the person you love a priority. You literally want to help them in every single aspect of their life, and putting all of their needs above yours.
And that's never a good thing.
You want to solve their every problem, help them with everything you possibly can. Need a job? I'll fill out the applications for you. Need a resume too? I can write that. Need a kidney? Here take mine.
That's extreme, but where do you draw the line? If you give everything you have to someone, all of your effort, and energy, they'll literally drain you.
The list will be never ending, and it will completely exhaust you.
Putting someone before you like that is just not healthy. You need to start caring about yourself first.
You think you're just being helpful, but in reality, you aren't helping the person by doing everything for them. Especially because you'll be slowly destroying yourself.
They won't appreciate it, they'll take advantage of it.
And yes, of course it would be the best feeling in the world to love someone so much that all of their problems went away, but that won't happen.
So next time you feel that magnetic pull towards the guy who's 'damaged' or 'broken' or needs some 'fixing,' resist. You know that it only ends in total and complete exhaustion, and heartbreak on your end.
There's a huge difference between supporting someone and being a crutch.
You don't want to be a lean-to for the guy who's beyond repair. You want the guy who's already whole, so you can use your big heart to support him.
Because unlike the guy you want to fix, he'll support you right back.