Pucker Shop

Good Comebacks are the Ideal Way to Make Someone Put a Cork in It

Good Comebacks are the Ideal Way to Make Someone Put a Cork in It

By: goran-nikolov

Many people find joy in insulting and torturing other people, but it is impossible to be a victim of a mean joker if your brain keeps an extensive collection of good comebacks updated. Usually, the reason for someone to insult you has nothing to do with you, as it is only a way of hiding their own insecurities and a desperate effort to look cool in your eyes. These low-life forms of people are looking forward to your reaction and pray to make you cry or see any kind of sign that you're hurt by their mean insults.

There are people who are naturally gifted for telling jokes, funny stories and making up funny comebacks as soon as someone insults them. If you think you don't have what it takes for making up insults and comebacks, don't worry, there are many ways you can improve your wit and comebacks-reaction time. Visiting a comedy school definitely ain't one and we know that because of Mary Sumah's foolishly brave audition to Britain's Got Talent. For her first audition in the talent show, the 48-year-old certificated comedian seems to have found the only joke in the world that cannot get one single laugh from the audience. The awkward silence has confirmed that school means nothing if you don't have it in you.

Thanks to our unique, funny and good comebacks, you don't have to spend £200 on a comedy school in order to learn “how to be funny” as poor Mary did. In addition, I provide you with some mean comebacks and insults that can easily be regarded as some of the best comebacks to shut up any jerk who's trying to insult you.

Copernicus called me just the other day and he was pretty sure that you're not the center of the universe.

If you think that you an actually insult me or hurt me, you should go to the hospital and ask for a vaccine against stupidity.

Have you ever tasted your words before spitting them out? Of course you haven't, you would've been dead by consuming only a drop of poison.

What did the author of the quote “Laughter is the best medicine” have in mind? Your face?

Oh, you again. Excuse me just one second to write down your name on my reasons-to-commit-suicide list.

Even if I were using the most powerful telescope ever designed, I still wouldn't be able to find any interest in your problem.

I have a piece of advice for you. Why don't you call the purgatory and ask for their entry requirements? Surrounded by people of your kind, maybe you'll turn your life around.

I'm sorry, but before you keep talking, I must tell you that I'm allergic to meaningless conversations.

Do you remember that time when I actually cared for your opinion? Neither do I.

Did you say something? The black cloud above your head was too loud so I couldn't hear you.

I'd laugh in your ugly face, but it doesn't deserve such the refreshment of my precious breath.

They say opposites attract. Well, I really hope that some day you will meet a good-looking, smart and well-cultured person.

If you could learn how to spell smart, that would be a great start.

I'd like to give you a piece of advice, but I'm not sure you have a brain to put it in.

You are not even worth the oxygen you use, so please save the humanity.

Where did you get your good insults? A thrift shop?

For your information, the only reason I'm talking to you like an idiot is because it's the only way you could understand me.