Why You Can't Ignore Your Heart When It Feels This Heavy
By: Tyla VanWyngarden
It's so easy to ignore your emotions, to try and brush them under the rug, especially when it comes to getting over a guy. No one wants to be seen as weak, and hell, we all want to look like we're doing better than them anyway.
But the truth of the matter is no matter how much you try and hide it, that ache in your chest is still there and it's weighing heavy on your soul.
To feel so entirely out of control and realize that there is genuinely nothing you can do to make it better or go back to 'normal' is so frustrating that it breaks your heart all over again.
But the thing is, as easy as it is to focus on everything you miss about him, you need to focus on the fact that it wasn't meant to be.
While it's inevitable that you're going to think of him from time to time without even realizing, you can't allow your thoughts of him to only be nostalgic and sweet.
Embrace the way you cringe when you remember how unimportant he made you feel. How you felt like you had to walk on eggshells around him, how you were just waiting till you did something to annoy him.
Would you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling insecure instead of safe?
So allow yourself to be entirely and completely angry, no disgusted, with him. Hate him for changing his mind, for making you feel loved only to rip it away from you, for giving you hope for a perfect, comfortable, happy future only to leave you to fend for yourself.
And when you pass the old restaurant you said was 'your place' or the ice cream shop he took you to a million times, let yourself feel all the feels.
If your eyes want to burst out in tears, let them. If you want to scream at the top of your lungs, do it.
Give yourself everything you need in that very moment. Just don't allow yourself to feed into those thoughts and make them feel too welcome.
Because if you allow them to come into the safety of your mind they'll get too comfortable and there will never be hope of getting rid of them.
Right now, your heart feels shattered into a million pieces, but running away from the reality of the situation will only hurt more.
You can't expect to jump back into your normal routine, or to go on dates hoping to ‘replace’ or ‘live up to’ what he was to you. This is the one time in your life it's actually okay to not be okay, so give yourself time to heal and start over, no matter how long it takes.
It might not be today, it might not even be next month, but your heart won't feel so heavy and you will get over him. Just know your heart was big enough to love someone with all of its entirety and that's something to be more than proud of.