Pucker Shop

I'm Not Your Trophy

I'm Not Your Trophy

By: Maliyah Simone

You are never the one to blame. When I come to you with a problem it always seems the same: If I tell you how I'm feeling you always tell me it's my fault. Everytime we disagree it seems I'm the only one involved. Arguing is pointless because with every point I make you have this way of twisting words to make my sentences fake.

When do you apologize, I think I can count on one hand the times you've said it was on you; and those words were typed by hand. You have a quick tongue, and with every word you speak you cut me from the inside out until my core is weak. You're the cartographer to my words, and you throw the map at me if I ever miss a step or if I miss a beat. If I dare to ask a question, you meet me with another in response; but when I don't answer yes or no I'm the one fault.

I know I'm slightly spoiled because you buy me nice things, but it's hard to accept them knowing later on you'll toss it back in my face. I can't be bought with money or compliments or lies, I crave something more valuable, your love and your time. You're always trying to prove that you do more and that I'm not doing anything at all. The truth is if you need so much proof, maybe what you're doing isn't what I need after all.

Maybe I need to find someone who will spoil my inner self. Who will challenge me intellectually and push me to be better rather than making me hate myself. Someone who won't shut me up just to put me on a shelf. Surrounding me with nice things may brighten up your room but as I become old news to you eventually this trophy won't do much of anything else.