Sad And Sappy
Nothing is really wrong, but nothing feels right either. My brain knew but my heart just wasn't ready. Someday I will have to fulfill the dreams I made with you, without you. It goes both ways. What hurts me will most certainly get to you as well, we just have different timelines. People like you should come with a warning. There was a time when the only thing that mattered was how we felt about each other. Now it's blurred lines we call boundaries, but nothing ever changes. We speak only with hostility in our shaking voices as we fight over the sound of each others hearts shattering. I am only as strong as my will to avoid you. So tell me, How does it feel to finally lose everything you took for granted?
I need you to know it didn't just leave. I went through hell and back not knowing how to deal with the love you left behind for me to slowly drown in. The love that was etched into me for years. Love that was one-sided. It felt like I would never be able to erase your name from my memory. Then all of the sudden, I don't know when or even how, it stopped hurting. Your name didn't feel like a sharp knife embedded into my chest cavity, it faded away like a dull light in the very darkness of my own mind, I could barely remember it... even on the days that is all I wanted to remember. I was able to pass by places that hold all of our sweetest memories. It didn't burn anymore.
Now I can say that I truly know what it's like to love someone and to have that same, strong love taken away. It has taught me all the best lessons I needed to learn. How to admit when I am wrong, how to be there when someone needs you and how to support someone, how to not hold back loving your person because you are afraid of what might end up happening.
Thank you, for helping me grow into who I am now.