Thank you for letting me go, your mistake
By: Nicky W
I put the 1 month crap-versary of our break up in my ical. Why? It was supposed to be the timeline of us getting back together. When we broke up I was utterly destroyed. I cried non-stop, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. I felt isolated because your friends became my friends and I had just moved to town and hadn’t felt the need to make my own friends yet. You alienated me and were extremely cruel. You told me to go ‘fix myself’ despite my brother suddenly passing away and my friend dying of cancer and I kind of lost my shit. What kind of person does that?
Even worse, every person sided with you. You drank, did coke and partied while I sat in my apartment feeling the weight of a break up on my shoulders.
Now? Now I am going to celebrate with a glass of wine or a shot. I thought I was going to die of a broken heart (it’s a real thing). I am going to go out with my new friends. I live in the best part of Hollywood, California, I am going to go out and celebrate my single status and for you letting go of one of the only genuine girls not just trying to add followers to their social media. For letting go of one of the only 20-something girls with a ‘real ass job’, a brand new car, her own apartment without roommates; a successful and self-made girl who happens to also be glamorous enough to be a magazine model should I choose. I think the coke made you lose one too many brain cells or you’re blind.
I won’t say I didn’t make mistakes. Love makes us crazy. I was was so desperate not to lose you I was making even more of a mess of things if that was even possible to do so. You were cold and heartless and I hope you learned to be more caring. I’ve learned to care less for people not deserving of my love or my heart. Thank you for that hard lesson in life. Now excuse me as I go on living my fabulous life in Hollywood with my line of boys around my block peacocking for a chance to have a date with me, but honestly, you gave me the best gift of all. Appreciation for my ex-husband, who is the kindest and most selfless soul I know. Who never once gave up on me and who I am now working with to repair our relationship that was completely salvageable the whole time. It just needed a little push in the right direction. Honestly, I should be thanking you, but instead I’m going to direct you to the nearest popcorn stand so you can see what a real relationship is like. It’s not all flowers and fairy-tales. It is commitment and takes hard work. Here’s to real, genuine love with a man and not a boy.