Depression Unravels Her Mind at the Seams but She Refuses to Fall Apart
By: Shannon amacker
It comes in waves, resurfacing at the most unexpected times. It's a constant battle she's fighting within herself... some days are better than others.
Her good days are filled with overwhelming joy, while the darker days flood with jumbled thoughts.
The thing about her depression is that this sense of hopelessness, feeling so low, happens to her because her mind is fragile and often feels weighed down by the vastness of reality.
This whole 'life' thing isn't nearly as easy as people make it out to be, and what ends up happening is she isolates herself to hide the fact that she's struggling.
But that's only making it harder on herself. She shelters herself within the walls of her mind.
It's safe there. There she can face her depression on her own terms and won't have to feel judged by anyone.
But when her mind is unraveling at the seams, it's hard for her to fight every day to not fall apart.
It doesn't mean she's broken. She's not damaged. It means this ocean of emotions is drowning her and she needs a hand to pull her up.
And yet, despite her efforts, she's still viewed as hard to love because most people don't understand the sensitivity that embeds within her.
It just takes her a little longer to find her own tactics to control it, and dodging the waves will sometimes be harder than others.
She can't allow someone into her life unless they truly and completely understand her state of mind, otherwise, she'll just end up being pushed even deeper into the black hole of emotions flooding her mind.
She needs someone who will declutter her thoughts and be the rock she needs to make her feel grounded again.
No matter how terrified she is of the idea of letting someone see her darkest sides, there's a part of her that's burning with the desire to feel alive.
To know what it's like to let out all of the emotions eating her alive inside and not feel the weight of depression on her shoulders day after day.
So she works for a day that she will be able to open up to the right person.
She can only hope the day the storm passes and she'll feel the warmth of the sun as a new day begins. Until then, she refuses to give up. She refuses to let her depression win.
It might color her life with a chaos but she will never let that define her. Because she is strong and she is capable of anything.