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Just So You Know, I'm Forgiving You For My Own Peace Of Mind

Just So You Know, I'm Forgiving You For My Own Peace Of Mind

By: Brittney Lindstrom

Harboring resentment and fueling hatred completely drains me, it leaves me completely exhausted. 

Is isn't worth it— no, you aren't worth it.

You were the person who I trusted with my entire vulnerable heart, and you just tore it in two like it was yesterday's newspaper. I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive you. Not for the lies, the deceit, or the manipulation.

But I can't keep devoting energy to you anymore. So I forgive you. Not because you deserve it or I think you're sorry, but because I'm choosing to let go of the anger and the hurt, it's baggage my heart doesn't care to carry.

You lied about loving me every single day until you left. But that doesn't mean I'm incapable of love. I forgive you for not meaning the words you said. Someone out there will one day tell me they love me, and they'll mean it. 

You used me for everything I brought to the table, but I'm okay with that. In the moments we were together, I wanted to do things for you, and be there for you. I'll never regret that. And some day, I'll find a guy who can appreciate what I have to give, so I forgive you.

You allowed me to get closer to your family and friends only for them to be ripped from me in the snap of a finger. Just because my family didn't mean shit to you does not mean your family meant nothing to me.

You placed on my shoulders the incredible weight of feeling like a burden. Like my needs were too taxing on you. I'm sorry you couldn't see past your selfishness and be there for me while I was there for you. I forgive you for only thinking about you and your future and not ours.

I forgive you for promising me a life of love and happiness and not delivering on either. I forgive you for the harsh words, the fights, and the guilt. 

And I forgive you for making me fall in love with a guy like you, because now I know who to avoid.

I'll no longer carry these resentments I have for you. I'll no longer carry this anger and rage inside of me for what you've done. All it does is hold me back from seeing or being with good people who only want the best for me.

You no longer have a hold on my future. I am breaking that bond today. You are forgiven.