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To the guy who completely broke me, but changed my entire life...

To the guy who completely broke me, but changed my entire life...

By: emily

I can’t believe I let you in. I can’t believe I let you into my world, into my life, into my heart. I gave you all of me, only to get nothing in return. Sure, you told me that you would do this and that for me, but did you really?

I trusted you, only for you to slap me right in the face. You broke me. You shattered my heart into a million pieces. What was worst of all, you gave me something to ALWAYS remember you by. No, it’s not the scars; it’s not the memories of those who bullied me, including yourself; it’s not the memories of silence or fear I embraced; it’s not the stretch marks that will NEVER go away. You gave me life, you gave me the most perfect son ever…

It’s a shame that you are the way you are. You’re missing out on so much. I’m missing out on so much. Because of you, I don’t have the privilege of raising MY son. I don’t have the privilege of waking up every day wondering what my son is going to want to do, or what he is going to need, or hearing his first words or watching him take his first steps. Because of you I was forced to put my son, our son up for adoption…

It’s hard. SO HARD. There are days when I wish I don’t exist. There are days where I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Unmeet you, never fall for you, never fall for you stupid lies. I never would have gone that day had I known all of this…

There are days where I wish you could feel what I feel. Maybe you do, but I’ll never know. You wrote me off before you knew you were a father. It got worse when I attempted to tell you the news. Of course, I didn’t think you’d be excited, but you deserved to know. How you responded though, it killed everything inside of me. I was broken. I wish you would have stepped up and faced your fears…

I’m thankful you did this to me. Sure, it hurts, but I thank you. I thank you for breaking me, I thank you for ripping me apart and crushing me. Because of you, I’ve matured in ways I would never have imagined. I’ve learned the true meaning of love. I may not have my son now, but he will forever be a part of me. I hope he will forever be a part of you too… You may forever hate me for causing so much pain within your family, but I will no longer hate you.

You gave me love, you gave me life. For that, I am forever grateful. I may have been young, but I would never go back and “redo” it. Thank you for the pain and suffering you gave me. Thank you for the misery you put me through. It has turned me into the woman I am today. I am continuously growing and learning from the experience. I hope you are too.