Pucker Shop

To The Guy Who Couldn't Decide What He Wanted

To The Guy Who Couldn't Decide What He Wanted

By: Creedence Johnston

I don't expect you to read this ever, I'm sure my stuff comes across your Facebook newsfeed and you just nonchalantly scroll through it. However, little do you know this article is about you. 

To the guy who couldn't decide what he wanted,

I hope you know that none of this is easy for me to do or say. But, I also need you to know what is really going on in my head and I need you to listen..

As much as I don't want to, I have to close this chapter in my life. I have to move forward and see what comes next, because if I keep rereading the same chapter, it's never going to change and I'm going to be stuck in the same sorry situation, which I don't deserve.

I can't and don't want to continue with feeling that you've been giving me. This feeling that won't stop pulling me back and forth, I want it gone. And it looks like I'm going to have to lose you with it. I can't and don't want to continue to be in this in between area where you have me. Where I feel weak and helpless, where I feel like I'm losing parts and pieces of myself to you, without even noticing. I can't and don't want to do this up in the air, in between, not sure thing anymore. And the reality is that because you can, you are not the man I thought you were.

I let you off the hook so easily...from you sleeping with one girl, to you trying to sleep with another one a few months after the first one. I let you off the hook those times because I didn't want to lose you. I wasn't ready to lose you without a fight. But, the thing about fighting for something is that it takes two to do so. And even though I was fighting for us to work out, you weren't. You took advantage of me. You took advantage of the heart that I had that couldn't bear the thought of losing you. But I'm done.

I'm done making excuses for you, I'm done fighting for you, I'm done fighting for us...I can't do this any longer. And this time, you're going to have to learn what losing me really feels like.

We've been going in this circle of "I want to be with you" and "I don't want to be with you" for way too long. And honestly, it's exhausting to me in every aspect; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I don't deserve that. I deserve to feel happy again, I don't want to feel the way that you've been making me feel anymore. I can't allow you to string me along anymore.

I want you to know a few things though. I wanted us to work. I wanted to be able to tell everyone they were wrong about you. I wanted us to make it. I really did. But, I can't keep waiting around for you with false hope that we will end up working out. I can't keep letting you in and out of my life, leaving me with questions where we stand. I just can't.

You can only hurt people so much before they are left with no other choice but to walk away. So, I'm walking away. I'm walking away from this and from you.

I loved you with everything I had and all of my heart. Sadly though, loving someone with all of your heart doesn't mean the feelings will always be reciprocated and they will do the same. I'm too full of life to be half loved and I'm worth so much more than an almost, maybe, sort of, just barely kind of commitment.

I don't want to end up resenting you, so I'm going to leave to leave you with this: I loved you more than I think you'll ever know. And if you would've just decided what you wanted we could've been amazing. 


The girl who has finally had enough