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To the Loved Ones who Believe They Know What is Best for Me

To the Loved Ones who Believe They Know What is Best for Me

By: Erin

To the Loved Ones who Believe They Know What is Best for Me

I have struggled for some time now in trying to think of the words that I need to say to you. It is difficult because even if I say them flawlessly, you may still choose to not hear them. Still, I am going to try.

First, I want you to know that I miss you.

I miss being able to share the intimate details of my life with you without feeling the heavy weight of your disapproval with every word in your reply. I miss the closeness we once had; even though I do not miss the person that I was during that time.

I need you to know that I have changed and that this is not a bad thing.

I have grown in ways that I could not have even imagined. That growth was the result of many of the decisions I made that you dubbed as “mistakes”. Though some may have been questionable, or even concerning, they were not mistakes. Every choice I made has lead me through a beautiful journey of self-growth and discovery. I like the person I have become and I do not regret the things that helped to shape her.

Next, I want you to know that even though I do not take all of your advice, I appreciate it.

I have walked through some very messy seasons of my life. You got to witness many of those seasons, and your concern for me during those times meant the world. You gave me your opinion on the numerous obstacles I faced. Sometimes I took your advice. Sometimes I did not. However, the one thing I did always do was listen to what you had to say. I know that you are coming from a place of good intentions. Even if those good intentions get muddled with the false belief that you know what is best for me and my life.

The problem is, you do not know what is best for me.

I fully believe that you learned from your own mistakes and experiences; and that those experiences taught you valuable life lessons that you will forever live by. However, your life experiences do not always equate to an all-powerful wisdom that trumps what I know to be true for myself.

I am going to keep living my life my way. 

I am sorry if you believe that this makes me selfish. I truly do want to make you proud of me, but I will not live in a way that is not true to myself in order to keep the peace with you. My greatest hope is that you can learn to accept both me and my choices fully. I invite you to do so with the knowledge that I am happier, healthier, and more fulfilled than I have ever been.

Most importantly, please know that I love you. 

We do not always see eye to eye. Sometimes I fear that we never will. However, despite our many differences, I will always love you and care for you. This may mean that I have to love you from afar in order to best love myself. However, that does not lessen my love for you in any way.