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What It's Like Living With My Anxiety

What It's Like Living With My Anxiety

By: becky staller


I’m always on edge. 

Some days are harder than others, and you never know when it’s going to hit you. Sometimes it’s understandable, but others I have no explanation for it. Those are the worst kind.

It’s harder when you love someone. Every fight makes you imagine the end. Every time it’s your fault for ruining things. They’re going to leave you because it’s too much to handle.

When I have an anxiety attack, my whole world stops. I can’t speak. I can’t breathe. Sometimes I can’t even see. All I can do is cry and cry and cry. If you’ve never been sad for no reason I envy you.

The side effects are crazy. Headaches, dizziness, just always feeling sick. My brain is tired. Sometimes all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. I’m not in the mood to do anything else.

I know most of the time I like to hide my problems. Dealing with all these emotions is hard. Therapy didn’t work. Maybe medication will. I just want to feel sane again. I’m sick of being crazy.

They say just breathe, take some deep breaths. But isn’t that how you start to hyperventilate?