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What It's Like To Love Someone With Depression

What It's Like To Love Someone With Depression

By: Vanessa

I started dating my boyfriend ten months ago. In the beginning I had no idea this amazing, talented man struggled every single day with a disease - depression. As time went on he opened up to me about a lot of intense things. Depression was the last thing I thought he would tell me he suffered from.

Depression is a relationship killer. Depression makes the one you love the most in this world, not want to be here anymore. That fact alone is unsettling, and many people run for the hills when they hear someone suffers from this. Let me tell you, depression is not beautiful. It's a tornado of guilt, shame, and doubt. It turns the most confident, loving person into someone you don't recognize.

Every day is a battle and the only casualty is you. You can be having the best day but when one thing goes wrong, the world can come crumbling down. Suddenly it truly is as if the world is ending. The person you love loses that spark in their eye that you adore so much. They can't get out of bed, the thought of eating makes them sick, and nothing you say or do can make it better.

I think that's the hardest part for me. See, I'm a fixer. When something's wrong, I just want to make it better. To end the suffering for that person.  But with depression, you have no control. You can't snap your fingers, do a little dance and make everything better. Any joy you produce is short lived until the one you love is able to find enough strength to get up and face it head on.

You can't heal someone from depression. This is something they will probably always have and suffer from in some capacity. For me and my boyfriend, we just take everything day by day. Some days are better than others. Hell, we can have a great month and all of a sudden the tornado's back. It holds my boyfriend captive and tortures him every second it sticks around.

I would give anything to take his pain away. To be the one who suffers instead of him. And I guess that's what love is. Just wanting the person you love to be better and see how magical they really are. To get them to realize how important they are to this world. Unfortunately that's not something that you can do when depression brings it's ugly face around.

Loving someone with depression isn't easy. It's ugly and hard. It's staying up all night not being able to sleep because you know the person laying next to you is battling demons right now. It's sending 'I love you" and "you mean so much to me" texts every hour just trying to make them realize they are more than this. It's walking on eggshells for a while so you don't make things worse.

No loving someone with depression isn't easy, but would you believe me if I told you it's all worth it?