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I'd Do Anything to Forget About Him, but It's Not That Easy

I'd Do Anything to Forget About Him, but It's Not That Easy

By: Ariel Currant

The number of times I’ve been told to “just move on”, “forget about him”, “he’s not worth your tears” (yada yada yada), is more than any broken heart should ever hear. 

As if I haven’t already told myself these things over and over and over again. As if I want to hold on to the sting of pain every time I realize I may never experience the incredible rush I felt when I was with him.

There are moments in every day where I will my heart to forget the way he held it so perfectly. I will my skin to forget the way he sent chills up my spine with just one simple touch. 

I will my eyes to forget how his shining ones put a little more light in my world. I will my mind to forget all the happy memories that keep my hanging on – all the confusing moments that made it seem like he felt the same way.

I will my lips to forget how his seemed to fit perfectly with mine – like a jigsaw finding it’s missing piece. I will my ears to forget his voice, his laugh and how he always knew exactly what to say. 

I will my hands to forget what it was like to trace every inch of his skin, and how it felt to hold his hand in mine.

I will my feet to forget how it felt to dance with him with no cares in the world. I will the small of my back to forget how it felt to have his hand gently resting there, like he was silently showing the world I was his. I will my entire body to forget how it felt to feel perfectly at ease.

I will my soul to just forget.

So you see, I can’t just move on. I’ve never felt something like this before in my life. And sometimes I’m convinced I never will again.

I need time to shuffle through every moment and memory. Trying to convince myself that he never cared as much as I did. That he couldn’t love me. That those moments which don’t make sense, don’t actually mean what I want them to mean.

Hopefully one day he won’t have such a hold on my heart. I know that it’s possible. But you can’t tell me you’ve never felt this way towards someone before.

You can’t tell me that you’ve never struggled for quite a while to get over someone who meant more to you than you meant to them. You can’t tell me you’ve never held out hope – even if it was all hopeless.

Even if you don’t understand why I can’t move on, remember all of this and all of your own experiences. Remember how changing a heart’s mind is one of the most difficult things in the world.

Remember how love can change a person. It can wreck them or send them soaring. And sometimes they have to take the time to step back, pick up the pieces and rebuild parts of who they are once it’s gone.

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