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You Left But The Monster You Created Inside Me Still Remains

You Left But The Monster You Created Inside Me Still Remains

By: CJ

I haven’t seen a trance or heard a single thing from you in over a year yet you somehow found your way out of the woodwork. Youfound me.

I pushed all the demons you had created inside me as deep as possible. I put away those insecurities, doubts, and worries about myself you had created. I had reigned some confidence, hope, and peace within myself and about the world.

But you found me.

Your harsh words came creeping back. They hit me like a dagger straight to the heart. I wish I could say I’m over all the pain and heartache you caused me but it was detrimental to my sanity.

You took away my innocence, hope, confidence, and belief in the world. You broke me.

Slowly chipping away at every piece of me day by day creating a toxic relationship. You made me feel the need to earn your validation, approval, and made my whole self-worth rely on you.

Once I finally returned to reality, my life took a turn. I realized the damage you had done. The horrible self-image I had created for myself from your image.

You had created a monster inside me and it had no way of getting out.

I slowly rebuild my confidence one day, one moment at a time. Taking in compliments from others, seeing myself through their eyes, and believing it was true. I had found a new happy place.

But as I look into the mirror tonight, I realize the monster you created is still inside me. I still see a vulnerable girl looking for validation from others or myself.

Somedays my confidence in myself is truly astonishing and others it’s the worse it has ever been. You created this monster without ever blinking an eye and now I’m left with a million pieces.

One day those pieces will all be put back together and a beautiful woman will remain.

If you want to read more of CJ’s work, go to her contributor’s page here. You can also connect with CJ on her Facebook.